Telltale Signs you are Ingress Obsessed

Been playing too much ingress? Here's how you tell (attributions removed to protect the innocent):

You know you're Ingressed Obsessed when...

... You look up at the beautiful night time cloudless sky and think, "Hmm, I wonder what is the optimal linking for Cassiopeia?..."

... You look at every stranger on the street as the enemy, and then try to see their screen as you walk past them to confirm your paranoia

... You find yourself saying "but honey, we just need to [walk only five blocks | drive two miles ] out of our way..."

... You measure your work tasks in chunks of five minutes

... Navigating by scanner and portal locations feels more familiar than looking around IRL.

... You find yourself keeping track of your fields per hour speed.

... You know where every place with a public restroom in town is, and what time it closes. (JuelieT)

... You can't go a day without being yelled at by other drivers, mass transit riders, and pedestrians alike because of unsafe movements

... The homeless in your work area begin to recognize you as the government spook tracking their status with your special ipad

... You refuse to drive over 35mph

... Getting tackled by border patrol ninjas is just part of the game

... You get pulled over, in a church parking lot and the cop says into his radio, "Cancel that, its just another Ingress player."

... You tell the cop how to play and he downloads the AP while you are sitting there. He still plays too.

... You read the comment above with the word AP and in your head pronounce it "a.p."

... You're driving a city bus, and cursing because the smurfs riding on it, are blowing up ur stuff!

... You walk into the same pole every 300 seconds as you walk circles around the block.

... You count durations under 5 minutes in seconds.

... You actually have to use Google maps for something. Open it. And are confused for at least 30 seconds when no portals pop up.

... You can dodge the late night sprinklers at your local park, without looking, like they were security lasers.

... Your non-playing partner has long since stopped saying "ok so you've got your phone right... Oh screw it, never mind..." as you leave for late night checkpoint

... You go to the [movie theatre] every day but haven't actually [seen any movies] lately.

... It takes 2 hrs to "get milk," and u generally forget the milk.

... You have certain routes you can walk with your eyes closed, until there's something added like a big orange construction sign,which you trip over.

... You tell your boss' 16yo daughter "sure I'll level you!" Without even thinking how it could possibly be misconstrued. (She made 8 at midnight yesterday btw)

... When between Ingress and Plague Inc, you have to remind ur kids that when in public we need to not talk about blowing things up, or making viruses airborne, while ur taking pictures of local landmarks to submit as portals

... You spend 15 minutes every 4 hours at the [fountain] down the street. You get frustrated if you get there even a few seconds early

... Tou have your mom or other friends/family members who might be driving, trained to slow down in certain places throughout town...hack all portals!

... You have to remind yourself not to suddenly stop walking near a group of kids at the park with your phone out in front of you because it might look like your taking pictures of them.

... When you hope a light turns red so you can blow up/deploy/hack the portals at an intersection.

... When you choose what section of class to take based on portals in range of the lecture hall.

... When all decisions are based on "how many portals are there?"

... When you are still up after 7am because there was this field on the way home last night, and that one portal that could be a guardian... someday, and those three that almost make a really big field... er, make that four... er, damn, make that five, and that one portal just wouldn't drop a key...

... When a major criteria in opting for a new job is being able to hit a portal from the bathroom

... You used to have an assigned pocket for your phone (to avoid scratching it with keys etc. ) but now it's just always in your hand and the pocket space has been filled by an external battery.

... You wake up from dreams of doing big ass fields and they're still there

... You dream about finding hundreds potential portals and spend your whole dream walking around submitting them and then wake up and get really mad that it wasn't real.

... You dream about finding hundreds potential portals and spend your whole dream walking around submitting them and then wake up and get really mad because [insert L13+ agent name] already submitted them

... You no longer have to remember to not get upset that you're stopped in traffic on the freeway because you will be able to recharge.

... Recharging on the freeway for free has less than 50% odds because there's a damn agent in front of you.(Trainee)

... A coworker tells you he thinks you are on drugs because you were walking in random directions downtown with seemingly no place to go

... You stop wearing the color [blue|green].

... When you change lanes driving down the road to make sure portals on the other side of the street are in range.

... When you have to replace your phone because your level and name are burned into the screen.

... When you buy an automatic even though you prefer a stick shift so you can cargress easier

... When you wake from a quick nap at 1 am and think it's the perfect time to drive out to the lummi Indian reservation to smoke your favorite as whole smurf's work complex. For the third time this week. ;)

... When your phones power button is so worn down from using the wakeup screen all the time that your power down/reboot options popup at the slightest touch while trying to hack

... When you make a web page consisting of a bunch of "you know you're Ingress Obsessed when" entries..